Blog Translation: Nakamoto Himeka - Last Blog (December 22, 2017)

Himetan -0o0- #731

Translation by Zaka

This will be the final update.
There's still time until my blog gets closed,
so please also read all my posts until now, if you like. 

I performed a song in Himupeki-niisan's corner on Bananamoon GOLD!

As it was a surprise, 
I apologize for not letting you know ahead of time.

Girls who had something to say to Bananaman this year all gathered and sang!
There are pictures on the show's official site, 
so please take a look.

On the previous Radirer! Sunday,
My solo song "Jibun no Koto"
was partially unveiled~~

Please look forward to the making-of footage as well.
My heart was shaken by the nostalgic scenery.

Koroyasu-director shared it on his social media!
Thank you very much!*

Please also enjoy* "Boku dake no kimi~Under Super Best~"

I got asked many times "So in the end, how long is Himetan still staying active?" (lol) Sorry.

And even now,
even though I said it's my last update,
I can't find any words that sound like it's the last. Haha

Recently, I have a lot of time,
and I feel that that time is necessary for me.

I think about many things.
I remember the people who have taken care of me,
and I also revive memories.

Looking back at my choices,
I haven't regretted any of them after all!

I want to think that all of them were correct.
I guess my journey by myself from now on is how I can prove that.

Without noticing,
I had fallen in love with this occupation as an idol.

So this is what 'your work is your lover' means,
going so far as thinking that time spent learning 
and even sleeping was a waste.

Do you mind if I talk about why I was so obsessed about it, 
as a final thing?

Being able to wear beautiful outfits is fun,
having pictures taken is fun,
standing on a stage is fun,
everything is really fun.

But even more than that,
I was set on being acknowledged,
that it was okay for me to be here.

When I'm in this world,
there are many people who need me.
There are many people who look only at me. 

That makes me so happy and it's why I could continue until now.

With seeing someone giving their everything 
being enough to strike someone's heart,

Even I, without any particular talent,
receive a variety of emotions,
be it courage, healing, or hope. 

I think the best thing about idols is
their elementary character,
and their attitude towards their work.

I can't measure up to a singer,
or a dancer,
or an entertainer. 

When I thought of this occupation as one 
where they want to see how you deal with the imperfections of your performance,

I intended to face anything and everything head-on with no effort spared.

In the end this is just my theory on idols,
but if you tell me to talk about it, I'll never stop talking.
That's just how much I loved this job.

As I view being busy as a happy thing,
this preparation period for what's next is far from calming.
I can't find rest in this dangling state of uncertainty.

However, I do have a plan for the direction I wish to go.

To become someone convincing. 
I want to have many experiences to get there, 
using the time I will have now.

Good job on the Under Live!
Congratulations on the 3 year consecutive Kouhaku!

To each and every member I hold so dearly,
I present to you these words. 
I want to say this out loud.

Your presence in Nogizaka is necessary.
If even one of you had not been here,
Nogizaka would not be where it stands today. 
Truly, thank you. 

All the staff, the fans.

I have been in your care until now. 
Thank you very much.

See you around.

Nakamoto Himeka

Source: http://blog.nogizaka46.com/himeka.nakamoto/2017/12/042278.php